Diwali 2023

Dear Shrey,

Its more than a year since you have left us. It still feels so unreal…you left us with so many questions that will forever remain unanswered. But we all are slowly learning to live with those questions. There are times when you are so conspicuous by your absence…that your presence or absence is felt in each one of our smiles or tears!

 

I was going through your writings and it gives me goosebumps…it feels as if you knew something that we all could not see…I listened to your podcast today and it was like you were describing what happened to you after death. I wonder what did you feel inside when you wrote all these writings? Did you feel some kind of a longing? Are you happy wherever you are? Have you made peace with what is?

The last image I have of you is at Softy Corner in sector 17…and then the last hug when you were leaving for Bangalore outside our house…I do feel that may be we should have gone to drop you at the airport instead of sending you with the driver!!

 

I miss you…and I miss the old us…all of us – I miss Zina’s narration of various “quissas” and her unabandoned laughter on jokes that sometimes other people didn’t get it but they would laugh just looking at her, the twinkle and joy in the eyes of Bijoy, the banters between you and Raga, carefree joyfulness of your Nani, the spring in the walk and the laughter in the eyes of Nanu, the unending giggles of Bambi when he would talk to you on the phone and that pure sense of sheer joy in all of us…

 

We all are trying in our various way to learn from what has happened …and it has made all of us softer, kinder, forgiving and may be more empathetic…and we all continue to find our meanings.

But no matter what we do or wherever we are – you and razaa remain in our hearts!

We love you and miss you.

Happy Diwali!